November in the United States is traditionally a time for giving thanks, and December is the month where everyone’s expected to being a festive mood all the time. Even though holiday seasons bring expectations of happiness, not everyone feels like celebrating.
We may never know the private circumstances a specific person might be facing that make them angry instead of thankful, or sad instead of joyful. Generally speaking, researchers at Harvard have recognized that holidays can be some of the most stressful, anxious and depressing times of the year. Thankfully (pun intended), they have suggestions on how to navigate the distress.
We shouldn’t feel guilty if our holiday celebrations aren’t like the ones we see in the movies. Everyone’s family dynamics, traditions, and histories are different, so each person’s present-day experience will differ too.
The Many Health Benefits of Expressing Gratitude
It’s an easy cliche to say we should “have an attitude of gratitude,” but there really is a reason to be thankful. Studies have shown that feeling thankful can improve sleep, mood and immunity. Gratitude can decrease depression, anxiety, difficulties with chronic pain and risk of disease. With so many physical and mental benefits to giving thanks, maybe we should celebrate all year!
To learn more about gratitude (what it is, how it works, and what it can do for you), here’s a well-researched article on the subject.
To summarize the science, giving thanks is good for the body and the mind. In addition to the health benefits just mentioned, feeling (and especially expressing) gratitude can also boost neurotransmitter serotonin and activate the brain stem to produce dopamine. Both of these brain chemicals create feelings of happiness and wellbeing.
We’re Not Born Being Grateful; It’s a Trait We Can Learn
Many people think gratitude is a natural trait that some people have, and others don’t. But gratitude is actually a habit that can be taught, learned, practiced and formed.
UCLA Health believes the best way to form a mindset of gratitude is to slip it in throughout the day. They offer these tips on ways to incorporate more gratitude:
- Write it down: Take time either at night or in the morning to write down something that went well. Return to the journal when necessary to reflect and remind yourself of those moments.
- Hit pause: Many of us reflexively say “thanks” to people quite often. Next time you hear yourself say it, stop and articulate precisely what you are thankful for.
- Redirect your thoughts: You may feel negative or frustrated during the day. When that happens, step back and try to shift your focus to a positive aspect of the situation or something positive you could learn from it.
Andrea Hussong, professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, suggests these four steps as a way to find gratitude within, and express it outwardly:
- Notice the positive that you have in your life or has come into your life, no matter how small.
- Think about why you have received this gift, who played a role in making it possible, and why they did so.
- Feel the positive emotions that come with receiving from others and connecting them to the real gift—the kindness, generosity, or love that someone else has shown you.
- Then do something to express your appreciation.
As we work toward increasing our feelings and expressions of gratitude, it might be useful to remember that helping others does wonders for our own physical health and state of mind.
Helping Other People Also Helps Your Own Wellbeing
It’s not just gratitude that improves our health; expressing kindness to others has similar effects. Both have been shown to improve mental health, physical health, social bonds, personal resilience, sense of purpose, and overall perspective on life.
If you’ve ever been in the Starbucks drive-thru, pulling up to the window to pay, only to be told that the car in front of you paid for your Venti Espresso Frappuccino, you know how good it feels to have someone do something nice for you. We often call these “random acts of kindness” because they happen unexpectedly, out of the blue, without us asking for them. And, if you’ve ever been in the front car and secretly paid for the stranger behind you, you know how good that feels too!
We’re not telling you to begrudgingly or selfishly give just because of the way it makes you feel, or to do it simply for all of the health benefits, but knowing how much it helps can’t hurt!
Recent research shows that students who perform five acts of kindness a day increase their happiness; providing emotional support to others significantly decreases the harmful health effects of certain kinds of stress among older people; and people who donate money to charity get a boost in a feel-good part of the brain, as revealed in brain imaging.
If you’re looking for local ways to volunteer or make a difference in someone’s life this holiday season, here are some options to consider:
United Way of North Central Florida
6031 NW 1st Place, Gainesville, FL, 32607
(352) 331-2800
drountree@unitedwayncfl.org
St. Francis Pet Shelter
104 SE 4th Place, Gainesville, FL, 32601
(352) 372-4959
http://www.stfrancispetcare.org/volunteer/
Keep Alachua Beautiful
(352) 371-9444
greatamericancleanup.kacb@gmail.com
Project Downtown Gainesville
Serving the Homeless
https://www.pdgainesville.com/
Home for the Holidays? Help for the Holidays!
No one’s saying that gratitude is easy. Depending on our circumstances, it can be very difficult to feel, and just as challenging to express. Over time, however, we can teach ourselves to make gratitude a habit—one whose countless benefits will improve our lives.
Even so, if you already know that you get stressed out during the holiday season, and you’d like some practical steps to take to set healthy boundaries with your friends and family who might be visiting while you’re home for fall or winter break, please talk to a professional at the Santa Fe College Counseling and Wellness Center—sessions are free and confidential.
In addition to the Counseling and Wellness Center, Santa Fe Students have access to TimelyCare for 24/7 virtual care for on-demand medical and mental health support.
We’re here to help—during the holiday season, and always.
