1. If you feel sad, know you’re not alone.

Lots of people struggle around the holidays, and lots of people dread big get-togethers. It’s even true that some people stress out just at the thought of being around family.

Did you know that the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has a term for these feelings? NAMI says the “holiday blues” are temporary feelings of anxiety and depression that happen around the holidays because of extra stress, unrealistic expectations, or even bad memories of previous holiday experiences.

NAMI stats from their survey reveal we might feel lonely, but we are not alone.

• 66% of people experience increased loneliness around the holidays.
• 57% have unrealistic expectations about Christmas.
• 63% feel too much pressure around the holidays.

2. You might have changed, even if they haven’t.

You’re taking new classes, learning new things and your mind is expanding with knowledge. You might have joined a club or met a special someone—or maybe you’re without a curfew and parental demands for the first time.

All of that is well and good, but while your life might be very different from what it was last holiday season, your family’s life might be very much the same. Understanding that people grow at their own pace and in their own way is a huge step toward kindness, acceptance and tolerance.

No family is perfect, including yours, and that’s okay. When we let others be who they’re going to be, and also give ourselves permission to be who we want to be, we can all live authentically.

That said—it’s probably wise to keep the wild party stories to yourself, to follow house rules when under the family roof and to not force every family member to learn your psych 101 curriculum.

3. Don’t bring up unpopular topics.

Speaking of not speaking about certain subjects . . .

It’s widely been said that there are four things one should never discuss in polite company: money, religion, politics, sex.

You might need to talk about money at some point while you’re home, since college students are notoriously low on funds, but during dinner with all the relatives while Grandpa is passing the gravy bowl is probably not the best time.

Depending on what holiday you’re celebrating, it might be okay to talk about religion, but tread carefully. There’s always the chance that someone’s going to get offended about something.

Same goes for politics—and probably double. We’re living in very polarizing times, where it’s hard to find a middle ground to hold conversations. Why start a fight where there are no winners? Just enjoy the pie.

And sex details from your latest date? Totally awks.

4. You can handle holiday blahs in healthy ways.

Unfortunately, when stress gets the better of us, we often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms that can lead to more stress—and more problems.

Many times, these choices of self-sabotage include dangerous patterns of behavior with food or alcohol, substance use or reckless decision-making.

Here are a few healthy ways to beat the blues:

• Try to maintain normal sleep patterns. Your brain and body will thank you.
• Eat and drink in moderation during celebrations. Again, your body will thank you!
• Make time for self-care so you don’t get overwhelmed. Choose to hang with people who lift you up, not drag you down.
• Stay active. Walking (or movement indoors if you’re snowed in) helps alleviate stress and boost mood.
• Set healthy boundaries. If you need to limit your time around particular family members or old friends from your past, do so. If this feels uncomfortable to do, schedule another engagement so you will be required to leave the first function by a certain time. Speaking of engagements, too much can wear you out. Agree to the amount that feels good for you.
• If low mood gets too heavy to bear, or you’re experiencing other concerning physical or mental symptoms, talk to your doctor or contact TimelyCare, which is available (free!) to students 24/7, even over break. Call them at 833-484-6359 or use the app.

Nothing lasts forever. Change is coming soon!

We’ve all had our ups and downs around special days of the year. Ever been dumped on Christmas Eve? Not invited to a NYE party or have someone to kiss at midnight? We’ve all been there. (No? Just us, then.) The point is, if we let go of our expectations and learn to accept Life as it comes, we will feel calmer and more content.

Usually, no matter how great winter break is, students are ready to come back to campus, happy to see their friends again and ready for school to start.

If you are still feeling “blah” from the break, visit the SF Counseling Center for support. It re-opens on 2/2/2024. After all, it’s a New Year—what better time to get things off to a good start?

We don’t go all-in for the “new year, new you” mantra because we think you’re pretty cool just the way you are, but we are here to help you set goals for the new semester and become the best version of yourself.